I’m just gonna come out and say it: We bought a mini-van. Yep. It’s done. There’s no going back. I now drive around in a giant room on wheels.
Getting the van was pretty much a necessity for us. With Number 3 just a few short weeks away from joining us, we had to find some mobile space for the little bugger. This was not going to happen in our compact Toyota Matrix. And so… the van. It’s growing on me, I guess, but it’s a tough transition.
The van’s color is listed as Ivory, but my first thought was tan. The tan van. Where had I heard that rhyme before? The tan van. It seemed to be calling to me from somewhere deep in my past. The tan van. Finally, I Googled the phrase, and came upon this Sesame Street skit from days gone by. Yes! That’s it! If you were watching Sesame Street back in the 80s like I was, perhaps you’ll remember it as well. Hilarious!
After indulging myself in the nostalgia of this clip a few times, I decided to create my own rhyme based on our new tan van. It’s funnier if you imagine me as Lefty from Sesame Street.
OK, so here’s the plan.
I, the stay-at-home man,
picked myself up a tan mini-van.
Pulled into the dealership. Perhaps I shoulda ran.
Instead I pulled out in an ’07 van.
Gonna haul all my kids around in it, if I can.
Gonna go get groceries to cook in a pan.
On such things as coolness, there will be a ban
As the man drives around in the tan mini-van.
So here I stand,
Diaper bag in hand,
Trying to make peace with this tan mini-van.
I’m not a fan
Of the tan (’cause it’s bland).
I’m not a fan
Of the van (’cause it’s a van).
I AM a fan
Of a car that can stand
To handle the size of our ever-growing clan.
So this man’s gonna embrace the tan van.
That, my friend, is the plan.